Conquering Bedtime, One T.I. at a Time

We're doing it, folks. We're conquering bedtime.

The 7am drag-Noah-out-of-bed by his footed jammies technique is successful!!!

Of course, I'm not going to lie and say he's going down without a fight. But he IS (for the most part) remaining in his bed while tossing out verbal commands/complaints at his parents in the other room. We're responding only to those that require immediate attention. Such as a T.I. And we had a doozy of a T.I. last night.


"T.I.?" you ask. "What's T.I.?"

T.I., my dear reader, stands for "terrifying incident".

Anything that involves uncontained bodily functions, projectiles of any sort, damage to furniture, or threats to life or limb can be defined as a T.I.

Last night my husband stayed out to watch the Junior's gold medal hockey game. I took our son home between the third period and overtime as he was getting dangerously cranky and overtired. Besides, it was almost 9pm, his new bedtime!

We did milk, brushed teeth and had story time. Noah went down without too much of a fight.

I thought maybe, just maybe, he'd go to sleep without a fight. Until I saw his diaper flying out of his door and heard it land with a thud on the hardwood. I knew then that I was in trouble. The scary part was, Noah didn't make a sound.

I went into his room and found him sitting in his bed, on top of the new quilt his grandmother had bought for his second birthday, pretending it was a commode. He just looked at me, smiled, and said "I pee da bed, momma."


Thankfully, it was ONLY number one, which is everyone's first choice when you think of the cleaning up the alternative. I know my son is barely two, and there's a possibility he didn't do it on purpose, but I really do think he planned his assault that evening. I suspect my darling angel had the foresight to plot this particular T.I. 

Realizing I would never know if he had really done it on purpose, (but if he HAD, a major reaction would only reinforce the behaviour,) I worked in silence. And I must admit it took everything in my power NOT to react expressively to his display of suspected defiance.

In about 2 minutes, I:

~Stripped off his top.
~Rediapered him.
~Stripped off his sheets.

~Folded the offended quilt into said sheets.
~Disinfected the plastic-covered crib mattress.
~Replaced sheets with Noah's second favourite set (For future reference, Noah, that's what happens when you pee on your car sheets!)


And then came the challenge. How to keep the diaper on my naughty Noah in the first place? 

I never had to answer, because my husband walked in the door. He saw Noah standing in only a diaper, a pile of bedding sitting on the hardwood next to a half-torn used diaper, and me with the weariest of looks on my face holding a set of pajamas up while wondering if they can be donned backwards.

"Hi honey," Kevin tiptoed in the door. "Need a hand?"

Why yes, I did. I needed two. I handed my husband the sleepers, and climbed out the baby gate and into the hall. "Our son needs to get dressed. Backwards. Have fun."

And, being the amazing hubby that he is, it was the last peep I heard out of my little monkey until I saw him bright-eyed (and backwards-sleepered) this morning, bright and early at 7am. I got a giant toddler hug and a big slobbery kiss. "Good morning Mommy!" he grinned.

I smiled, and kissed my little monkey on both cheeks and hugged him back with all my might.

"Good morning, Noah! Did you have a good sleep?"
"Um... yes!" Noah replied. 

Well, good. One T.I. down, one well-rested little boy. Come on, 9pm bedtime. We're ready for you. Bring it on, Noah. 

Putting Your Toddler to Bed: Pure Unadulterated Evil.

I could blame our parenting style, our lack of early holiday bedtimes, or I could blame my son for his refusal to sleep.


Instead, I am going to blame Monday. It seems like an easy target, and a guilty one at that.


This Monday began in its usual evil way: I had a caffeine headache, and was not thrilled to hear the alarm go off at 6:15am. I dragged my carcass out of bed, and with one eye open proceeded to drag myself (arms extended like an authentic zombie) towards the coffee machine. 


I managed a few sips before my hubby reminded me that Noah needed awakening. Hmm. "The same Noah that was up giggling in his bedroom until midnight, a mere six hours ago?" I asked, feigning confusion.


"Yup, that one." Kevin winked as he left me to the task.


It's not that I don't love seeing my frizzy-haired little munchkin first thing in the morning. I love his his hair is squall of chaos at the back of his head. I love how his chubby little baby cheeks smell when I smother him with good morning kisses.


What I DON'T love is dealing with a two year old teenager who won't be awakened. I like it only slightly less than getting him to sleep at night. 


Last night was a prime example:


9:00pm ~ warm soy milk, story, brush teeth, tuck in. BAM. He should have sunk like a rock into dream land when his head hit the pillow at 9:15
9:30pm ~ Not a chance.
9:45pm ~ Really, not a hope in heck.
10:00pm ~ he  stripped his pajamas bottoms off, threw his diaper across the baby gate and into the darkened hallway. For good measure, he announced "I poooooooooooed! Daddy, I poooooooooed!"  


Thank God he was lying. But he struck fear in our hearts for those few seconds after we spotted the discarded diaper but before we gathered the courage to switch on the light.


10:30 ~ "I want water! I so dirsty!"

10:45 ~ I all wet! (Intentionally dribbled his entire sippy cup all over himself)
10:46 ~ Momma says "Too bad! Noah gets to sleep like Nemo tonight!"
10:49 ~ Momma feels guilty and changes him into fresh pajamas
11:00 ~ a little voice cries out "Good night Momma! Good night daddy!"
11:13 ~ a little voice cries. And cries.
11:14 ~ Momma says "What is it, honey?"
           "Momma no watch scary movie. I cry and cry."


Well, we were watching a movie... but nothing with a hail of bullets or a string of expletives. There were less sirens than he hears in real life on our busy street.


We switched the captions on, the sound off, and watched while holding our breaths in case our existence in the nearby room bothered him.


11:17pm ~ Daddy? Momma? You dere? You watching Nemo?"
Oh for the love of clownfish. 

12:01am (on Monday MORNING) ~ he finally sleeps.
*************************
So you can see, Monday mornings are not my favourite day of the week. I'm currently reading "The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers" and am finding we've tried (and failed miserably) at most of the solutions offered.

Our tactic is to get his booty out of bed before 7am, so that he has a good nap at daycare, and is tired enough to sleep at a half decent hour (say, before 10pm).


That might work for us tonight- except that this morning Noah fell asleep drinking his milk, and passed out again in the car on the way to Grandma's. I don't even think he was fully awake when I eased his shoes off of him at 8:45am.


Oh well, we tried. And if he's a monkey again tonight, at least I can blame it on the Monday.

Happy New Year: Looking Back on 2009

Happy new year, everyone! Welcome to 2010.

I don't do new year's resolutions, I don't wear stupid hats or bang on pots and pans at midnight... but I do stop and reflect on the year that's gone by. 

Highlights from 2009:


January ~ my dad turned 70. Seventy! Happy birthday, you spry septagenarian!

February ~ the end of maternity leave. The return of my caffeine addiction, and punching the clock at the airport. I rolled out the polyester, dried my mommy tears, and headed back to the workforce. 

March ~ Noah's adoption is finalized. Three cheers for our forever family!

April ~ the evil economy strikes again! My job is downsized, our new dog dies, and I start the hunt for a new job. 

May ~ Noah's birth certificate arrives, and we finally see his new name in print! I apply with AFABC, and it's a perfect fit! :) 

June ~ I work my last day at the airport on a Friday, and start at AFABC the next Monday. 

July ~ first official family vacation. Noah meets all his second cousins and extended family. 

August ~ we meet Noah's big brother!! A wonderful day at the beach with the boys and our respective families. :)

September ~ first international family vacation. My husband, his teenage brothers, Noah & I go to DISNEYLAND!! It was a whirlwind bit of insanity, and we loved every minute of it! I can't wait to go again. :) Next time, pack the straight jackets.... 

October ~ lots to be thankful for this year. Oh, and Daddy gets his new truck!!! No more transit rides with our two year olds!

November ~ a quiet month in our household!! A couple of birthdays, planning for Christmas. On the work side, I added the position of Education Coordinator and am loving the challenge! 

December ~ happy holidays, everyone!!! We did Christmas with my side of the family this year, and were blessed to meet Noah's twin cousins, and have time to spend with ALL my millions (okay, ELEVEN) siblings and their families.

We couldn't ask for a better end to 2009! Wishing you and YOUR families health, happiness, and as much joy as you can bear in 2010.


Happy new year!

Don't Let Him See Your Fear!

Hubby & I went on a date last month -- which meant we needed a sitter for Noah.

Since we're neurotic parents, not just any sitter will do. We trust Kevin's mom to provide day care, and will permit close relatives to watch him while he's out of our immediate care.

But that's about it.

So that night, we asked a close relative to baby-sit. We prepared Noah by telling him that both Mommy & Daddy would be going out, but we would see him in the morning when he woke up. He seemed fine with that; he knows his aunty very well & she is one of his favourite people. He didn't even cry when we put our coats on and walked out the door.

Kevin joked with his little sister as she waved goodbye. "Don't let him see your fear, sis!" 

But she brushed us off and said "We'll be fine, won't we Noah?" to which our pint-sized toddler cackled in agreement. "We be naughty!"

(That should have tipped us off. He was already plotting his baby-sitter's demise.)

We left four pages of instructions to help aunty get through the night. I've included a few of our bedtime directions here:

~ place four ice cubes and water in his purple sippy cup at bedtime, and place the cup on the floor next to the bottom left bedpost.

~read his two favourite books "Love You Forever" and "Just One Goal" twice each in that order in a Swedish accent.

~for pajama time, put his undershirt on inside out so the tag doesn't scratch his neck. Place his left leg in the sleeper first to avoid a meltdown.

~Sing him "Teddy Bear's Picnic" but change it slightly to "Dinosaur's Picnic" and amend the following verse:

Picnic time for dinosaurs

They love to scream and roar

They never have any cares....

At 6 o'clock when mommy and daddy

Have finally had some sleep

Then you can wake up,

Please don't make a peep...

****

So those were the instructions. Not too much to ask, was it???

Aunty, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry we've catered to him and that bedtime is such a battle for you. (And us!)

We're not perfect parents.... but we had no idea.

We had our phones on vibrate in case she needed anything.

Despite checking our phones every ten minutes to see if there were messages, she held out.....possibly because she was hanging on for dear life!!!

Noah's normal bedtime used to be 9pm. (I know, I know, we're terrible!!!)

That snuck up to 10:00, which is still manageable for us.... but when you throw in the baby-sitter factor, that number climbs closer and closer to midnight.

So when our late movie got out at 11:15, and we rushed straight home with the hope of seeing our sleeping babe tucked into his toddler bed, guess what we found instead?

A frizzy haired sister-in-law looking exhausted, standing at the front door holding a sippy cup in one hand and the remains of a toilet paper roll in the other.

"Don't ask!" she commanded as we snuck in the door.

As if on cue, Noah poked his head up from behind his baby gate. "I awake, momma! Gonna get big time out!"

In other words, "Welcome Home, Mommy."