Thursday, August 20, 2009

What's the Point in Confidentiality if you call ME by his birthname?


Fourteen months after placement, nine months after signing final paperwork, five months after the adoption order was granted, three months after receiving his new birth certificate, and two months after his first passport was issued, we finally have Little Man registered under our MSP, with his Care Card in his new name.


Evidently, some government programs take a little longer to navigate than others.


In the interim, we smiled and nodded when every health care professional referred to our son by his birth name, or called me by his birth last name when addressing me. In fact, our pediatrician's office STILL calls me Mrs. Birthname!


This is a real conversation between myself and some government drone:


Drone: "Good morning Mrs. Birthname, I just listened to the voicemail regarding your son's Care Card number."

Me: "Actually, my last name is Reid. Thank you for calling me back. You see, our son's adoption was recently completed, and when we applied for his Care Card to be reissued under his new name, we specifically requested that he be permitted to keep his original Care Card number. The Care Card arrive in his new name, but he has a new number as well. We'd like it changed back please."

Drone: "Oh, well for privacy reasons, Mrs. Birthname, we had to change it. We cannot release his original name or Care Card number to you."


I paused.


"Well it's a little late for that -- you just called me by his birth name." I waited. I heard a little gasp from the Drone.

"Oh, well I'm very sorry, Ma'am.... but I can't just change it back."

"Why does it matter? I already knew his birthname. It's printed on his old Care Card that I'm holding right here. His old number is ____ and his birth name is ____. Can we have his old number reinstated please?"

The Drone was getting frustrated "Can you hold please, Mrs. Birthname?


After listening to an eternity of Rod Stewart and Phil Collins hold music, the Drone came back on. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Birthname. You'll have to appeal to the privacy commissioner to have the Care Card number changed. Have a good day."


And then he hung up.


What? Pardon me? This is so exasperating!! All I wanted was continuity in our son's medical history. It's bad enough we don't have access to his birth family history, now they are driving a wedge between his medical life before and after adoption finalization.


When I show up for a medical appointment, I have to present his new Care Card and his old Care Card, so that the receptionist (whose day is already busy enough without this crazy circumstance) can find his chart since the only thing in common between pre-and-post adoption is his birth date.


Nuts to privacy and confidentiality. Especially if you're going to call me Mrs. Birthname!!

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