Wednesday, January 12, 2011

My 3 Year Old's View on Jesus, Bathtime, and Fatherhood

Last Sunday, we attended the christening of our friends' baby boy. Noah fits into a peaceful chapel about as easily as a bull into a china shop, so we wisely took our seats on the far end of the church.

Evidently, not far enough.

"MOMMY! MOMMY! What is Jesus doing to baby Darragh?"
"Shhh... Noah. That's not Jesus, that's Father. He's baptising Darragh."
"MOMMY! Is Jesus giving Darragh a bath? I WANT A BATH! Yoo hoo..  Jesus? Bath time for Noah?"

Giggles in the pews, and a few seconds of silence....

Next came the candle lighting ceremony.
"What's uncle Connor doing?"
"All the fathers are lighting a candle for their babies. Now shhh!"

"Oh, look, he's lighting it! Oh mommy, he DID IT! Yay CONNOR!"

More silence. For three glorious seconds.
"But Mommy, you said Jesus is Darragh's father."
I smacked myself in the forehead and said nothing.
"Hey Mommy, is it bath time yet? I fink it's my turn."

The next time I feel confused about family roles (my child has HOW MANY MOTHERS?) I will remember our friend's baptism and comfort myself with the fact that my son is more concerned about getting in on bathtime then he is with determining relationships between everyone involved. 

And for us leading non-traditional families, with members even we can't assign a role to, just be thankful that you have this complicated cacophany of loved ones in your life.... even if you don't get the bath you were hoping for. And if the star of the show turns out NOT to be Jesus after all.  

I Don't Want a Sister - I Want a Dinosaur!!!

Every once in a while, we test the water with Noah and ask him point blank: "So, would you like a brother or sister?"

Sometimes he answers yes, other times no, but most recently, he's vehemently proclaimed: "I don't want a sister - I want a DINOSAUR!!!"

He then proceeds to stomp around the house roaring like his ancient extinct idol, smashing fallen cheerios and threatening breakables in his wake.

"Don't you think it would be fun?"

"No sister! I. Want. A. Dinosaur!"

"But Noah, you can't go to the park with a dinosaur. He might eat you up!"

"Mommy. You are so ridiculous. He won't eat me up. I'm not delicious!"

So... he's three now. Diametrically opposed to acquiring a sibling. Inexplicably enchanted with carnivourous prehistoric creatures.

Oh well. Last month he wanted a puppy. Which could be easily enough acquired... at least I have no qualms or quasi-guilt for saying "Sorry, son, but you are NOT getting a dinosaur for a sibling."