Dear Noah: Please Stay in Your Bed. Love, Mommy

Dear Noah,

That's it. I surrender. 

I am no longer going to pick you up while you're sleeping. I'm not going to drag you, my thirty-something pounds of sleeping toddler, and trip over your collection of stuffies, and stub my toe for the tenth time tonight while I put you back in your bed to sleep.

Because if I do, I will have to watch in amazement as you pull yourself -- WHILE STILL SLEEPING -- off your bed, onto the carpet, dragging your pillow in one hand and your special blanket in the other.... only to witness you throw yourself face down on the floor. Again.


My child, if you want to sleep in a heap on the carpet, I am just going to have to let you.

Do you hear me, little Noah? That's right. Go ahead. Pretend to enjoy yourself! 

I'm not going to come back in five minutes to make sure you're still breathing.

Nope. Not going to.

Not gonna worry.

I'm NOT going to pick you up again. I'm not going to drag you to your bed. I'm just going to let you lie on the floor in a heap because you insist. 

Sigh. That's it. I surrender.

Good night, little man. Sleep well.

Love,
Mommy